


Disclosure

by toomuchplor



Category: Smallville
Genre: Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-03
Updated: 2003-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:57:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomuchplor/pseuds/toomuchplor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark feels the need to share his secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disclosure

## Disclosure

by rose_emily

<http://www.livejournal.com/users/rose_emily>

* * *

Chloe wasn't an ideal person to talk to - after all, she _was_ a journalist, even if only for the school paper, not to mention she was seriously lacking in the compassion department - but Clark didn't know where else to turn. Besides, there was a pragmaticism to Chloe Sullivan which made her look at things more objectively than, for example, Lana Lang. Clark was bursting at the seams, trying to contain his secret, and he had to tell someone. 

To give her credit, she reacted much more sedately than Pete had under similar circumstances. There were no hurled accusations - at least not so far. In fact, she didn't even stand up from her place on the couch in the loft. She just sat. A myriad of expressions passed over her face as Clark babbled on, the relief of speaking having its own soothing properties. Each time he looked up at her, it was like catching a single still frame from a film: Chloe shocked; Chloe anxious; Chloe worried; Chloe amused. She didn't look at him, but kept her eyes fixed on the floor of the loft, which was vibrating under Clark's large feet as he paced back and forth. 

"And I know you need some time to absorb this, but can I just ask, do you hate me now?" Clark finished, having exceeded even his freakishly large lung capacity. 

Chloe was motionless, and now the frame was Chloe introspective. Clark didn't think he'd ever heard her go so long between cutting remarks. Her fingers were interlaced, and he took it as a good sign when they began to clasp and unclasp slowly, as if the frost his shocking revelation had blasted her with was thawing infinitesimally. "Holy shit, Clark," she said, and her voice was flat. 

Clark tried not to hyperventilate. He was very strong and very fast, but not above fainting like a goat with poor circulation when he was this overwrought. The relief he had briefly experienced had seeped out of him, and he ached for more. 

"I mean, holy. Shit." A touch of life in her voice now. Perhaps another good sign. 

"Do you? Hate me, I mean." He was desperate to know. So many things had gone unsaid, had caused that terrible rift last summer, and Clark needed to be comforted that any knowledge, however unwelcome, was better than silence. 

"No, I don't ... God, no, how could you think that, Clark?" Chloe was herself again now, or at least sounded like herself. "I could never ... well, not because of something you are, anyway. Something you do, I could resent, but not this. This is just ... I keep wanting to ask, 'Are you sure?' but Christ, that's a stupid question, of course you are. It's just ... I've had my theories about you, Clark Kent, but this was certainly not one of them." 

"So what, am I on the Wall of Weird now?" Clark said, bitterness edging into his voice. It sounded like Chloe was calling him a freak ... which he was, but she didn't need to point it out. 

A laugh - unexpected. "Definitely not. I mean, this is still a secret, right?" She paused, then met his eye. "How long have you known? No, wait, that's stupid too. You probably always knew." 

"Well, actually, it was in freshman year." 

"Wow. Way back then?" Chloe appeared to be thinking more. Clark could see the wheels turning as she pieced together the backstory. "And Lana?" 

"Has no idea," Clark spoke vehemently. "Something she said once ... I think she'd freak out." 

Chloe didn't try to assuage Clark's fears, only nodded slowly. If anyone knew Lana better than Clark, it was Chloe. He trusted her instincts about Lana, and was not exactly happy for the confirmation, but at least it was expected. 

"God, this just explains so much," raved Chloe suddenly, brushing away the ghost of Lana. "I mean ... how you turn up at school on time even when you miss the bus ... how you've always got some mysterious place to be, or thing to do ... how you backed out of playing sports and stuff ..." 

"Yeah, well ..." Clark smiled hopefully, realizing that Chloe wasn't angry. "I know we promised each other we'd be honest, Chloe. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner." 

Chloe looked at Clark steadily. "Something that I realized last summer, Clark - just because someone isn't telling you their secrets, it doesn't mean they're lying. Having secrets isn't always a matter of choice, but lying always is." 

Clark broke into a full grin at this. "I'm glad you understand that," he answered warmly. 

Chloe was giving him the eye, and Clark feared that embarrassing questions were about to follow. 

He was right. "What's it like?" 

Blushing heat bloomed, starting at his ears. "Well, it's normal, to me," he answered lamely. "I mean, I might as well ask you the same thing." 

"But it's not the same," Chloe persisted. "I mean, not that you're some big freak or anything, but you've grown up surrounded by this expectation that you're just this regular guy, and inside you've always been thinking, 'No, I'm not.' That's got to be confusing." 

Clark stuck his fingers in the back of his hair, resorting to nervous habit. "Um. Yeah. Confusing, I guess." 

"Plus, think of the implications for your future. No matter what you do, you're always going to have to contend with whether or not you can share this aspect of yourself. I mean, it's definitely not healthy to suppress your true self, but at the same time, it's not the sort of thing you go around just casually mentioning." 

"Well, sure, but I've kept it a secret this long ... why not even longer?" 

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Clark, it's the 21st century. The world is becoming more and more accepting of diversity. I mean, not that you're going to be welcomed with open arms everywhere you go, but that's no reason to hide." 

"Well, it's not just me I'm thinking about, Chloe," Clark replied tersely, with a significant look. 

"Oh ... right. Well, all I'm saying is, you can't live your life with the prospect of eternal secrecy. It's not right." 

Clark just bowed his head. Chloe didn't understand, not really. But at least she wasn't running away in horror. 

"Is it weird to think that you can't breed?" she blurted suddenly. 

Clark blushed. "Jeez, Chloe, I'm seventeen. It's hardly an issue." 

"Well, now it's not. But in ten years, if you want kids, you can't have them. At least, not the usual way." 

"There's nothing wrong with adoption ... need I remind you? And besides, science is making huge bounds in genetics and stuff. Who knows, it might be possible by the time I want kids. If I want kids." 

Chloe was perusing Clark again, and Clark knew that the interrogation would continue unless he headed her off this time. "Chloe?" 

"Yeah Clark?" 

"Thanks for being so cool. I mean, I know this isn't easy for you." 

Chloe smiled, sunny and sweet. "It means a lot that you trust me this much," she returned, getting to her feet. 

"It means a lot to me that you didn't ... I don't know ... hate me." 

Chloe hugged Clark, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "You seem perfectly unhateable to me," she reassured him. Clark clung to her warmth, feeling himself relax for the first time in weeks, as he allowed himself to believe that he could go on carrying this burden. After all, now he had someone else to share it with. And he knew from past experience, the more people share a secret, the easier it is to bear. 

"Clark?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think you guys look really cute together." 


End file.
